Monday, March 21, 2016


by Eulie
Why do you love me so?
A sinner
A criminal
A wolf clothed in sheep's garment.
I question your motives
Yet, still. . . 

The stench of my past haunts me.
Tears erupt uncontrollably at the thought of my victim.
A rush of anxiety filters my nerves.
Paranoia lurks and awaits an invitation
To be forgiven.

In my reflection
The mirror reveals stale judgment.
Thus shattered, it will remain.
The memory of my past is like a sharp-edged blade.
It pricks my emotions.
My soul is still torn.
Why do you love me so?

He who rules the world
Mocks my journey toward my Savior, Jesus.
Distraction is posted in every direction
Engulfed with lazy sleep.
Communion with you is  interrupted.
The oasis of my future is clouded with fear, 
Yet, still. . . you love me so.

Discouraged by the present reality,
I doubt your presence. 
Your rainbow reminds me of your promises.
Your hedge of protection shields me with a purpose.

I grieve.
You comfort me.
I claim insanity.
You bestow a renewed mind and self-control.
I attempted suicide.
Through Jesus, you granted me eternal life.

I curse my birth.
You bless my life abundantly.
I'm found in your bosom
Sheltered with grace and mercy.

God, why do you love me so?
Yet still. . .


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