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I received a letter from the judge denying my request for a sentence reduction. He said I should be commended for turning my life around, but he believes in punishment not rehabilitation.
This is where the saying, "Everything happens for a reason" comes in. We don't always know why things happen a certain way or how they will turn out, but I know God loves me and I am sure He has my best interest at heart. As I said before, "This has been a life changing experience."
I've learned to lean on and trust in God and His provision for me. It has been very hard to be humble and accept all the help I have received from the ministries and people that are supporting me. I just couldn't believe people would want to help me, but that is how God revealed His love for me. And He has shown me that even I deserve a chance in life.
I still have old, negative tapes playing in my head, but I am growing and learning that most of those thoughts are lies from the devil. I was in treatment so many times, but I never could find any long-term victory because my thinking didn't change. The Bible is so clear that we need to RENEW our minds. So every day I have to put God's Word and good thoughts in my head.
For so long, I have been tormented with the guilt and shame of the life I lived in the past. God took this time to work on my thinking and I now know I am worthy of His love and forgiveness. Though I have made some bad choices in my past, I am a good person at heart, and I have surrendered to God's will for my life.
I have a strong desire to help other women who suffer with the same issues I have. As soon as I am done serving my time (February 9th 2010), I will let God use me any way He wants. I no longer live my life for me, but for God and His glory. I thank Him every day for saving me and for not giving up on me.
I pray that whoever reads this will find it in their heart to help people like me. Don't give up on us. Rise up and mentor an ex-offender who needs to see God's love through you.
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For more information about women offenders and how you can help visit:
The Women Of Block 12.
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